Girl talk…and men :)

Girl talk…and men :)

Dear Sis,

Tonight, I am having this wonderful feeling of simply just writing to you.  I thought to myself, “Oh, I am not sure if I have a story to tell you ?”  But then I thought, who cares.  Just write.   The stories will come.

Last week,  Jenna started High School.   On her first day she came home and said, “Mama, I got to say something in front of the entire grade 8 students (over 200).  We were asked to say a few words to all and I said, “Have Gratitude”.”

When she said this, I just stared at her.   I then said, “I absolutely love that Jenna.”

Karen, as I have mentioned in the past,  things have really shifted for me.   Turning 50 (I know age is just a number) is pretty incredible.   I feel different.  Very alive.  Very much in tune with whom I am and what is important.

I have let go of trying to control circumstances around me.     I truly live in the moment, knowing that life will unfold exactly as it should.  I love being present in the now and I feel excited about future without knowing any of the details.

I do know, that eventually I would like to be spending more time (work) doing something that  I am more passionate about.      I still need to earn a living.   I am grateful for the job I have now but in the near future I am ready to put my energy into something different.

As I am getting older, my priorities have changed.   I am not needing as many “things”.   I want to simplify.    Simplify my household “stuff”, my relationships, my commitments and my never ending to do list.

For the last 30 years I have been extremely blessed to do the work I have been doing.  I worked in some beautiful hotels in Jasper, Whistler, Vancouver and Asia.  My current position with GFS for the last 11 years on Vancouver Island has been perfect for me.  It has given me the independence and freedom to raise Jenna.

My passion though, remains in the travel and hospitality industry.      I also really enjoy blogging / storytelling.  Being real.

Maybe one day my future will be travelling the world and blogging.     OR maybe I will move forward with my friend Mario’s offer and go work Sales on the cruise ship.     Be surrounded by 65 different Nationalities and Cultures.

OR maybe I will open up my own coffee shop in a location on the ocean, where there is warm weather and lots and lots of sunshine 🙂  The options are endless !!!!

Who knows and who cares about the details.  I am enjoying the feeling of knowing that everything will continue to work out for me.

I am also pretty excited to share my life with someone.  I can actually feel sharing my  love again with someone.      I loved falling in love with both Colin and Kelly.     I am excited for it to happen again.    So I am going to continue embracing this feeling….and just enjoy the ride.

When I look back to the first year of me being single, my thought process was this….”I will get a mortgage for 3 years.  Not 1, 5 or 10.  But 3.   That way I can meet someone in the first year, date him in the second year and move in together in the third year.”

Now, my thought process has changed.   A simple date would be ok.  Someone interesting.   A man I want to see again.   Someone, who,  when we kiss, I get all tingly inside.     I love kissing.    I am in no rush.  As my father in law said, ” Take the time needed to allow a man to show you exactly who he is.”

What I do not believe in is the saying, “Opposites attract.”  I find this statement false.  I want someone whom is so sure of who they are and so aligned with themselves.    When I meet this man,  he and I will both be in this place and I will simply say, “Oh, there you are:)”  Simple.

Karen,  I have never done the on line dating.  Sorry that is incorrect.  I did it once, but within 3 hours I deleted everything.  It simply did not feel right for me.

I truly believe that when you are open, it is easy for anyone to meet people.  It is all about energy and vibration.  I say this often as it is something I have been personally practicing for years.   I love to share this over and over because trusting Law Of Attraction, Self Love and being happy with no conditions, is very empowering.

Over the last eight years of being single, I have met and been introduced to many men.   I have had one night stands but over the last few years I am not as interested.   There have been some really darn cute offers – oh la la  – but I am just not as interested as I was in year two or three of being single.       Oh wait a minute, sorry, I just recalled this…. I did have one in Bali last March.  I almost forgot as it wasn’t a full on one night stand.    I actually said to him, “Sorry,  I really can’t continue.    Trust me it is not you, it is me.”     He did not need to know this but he reminded me of my best friends son lol dammit !!!    But I will say, he really was a VERY lovely young man and I absolutely loved that experience :):):):) oh, is that a grin ?

I have met men who are fresh out of a marriage.    They want to move fast and furious.  No thanks.  I have met men who are in “unhappy” marriages.   Fear of being on their own.  Lots of men whom are unfaithful to their wives (and woman to men, I know this)  Once I was at a dinner party with many couples and one of the husbands who was attending (I had only met him twice before)  approached me and whispered,   “Every time I see you I want to fuck you.”  I am not sure why any man would think this would be a compliment to me.

I do need to say that when I share these stories, I am simply sharing them to make people feel that they are not alone.   I too was not perfect in my 20 year marriage and relationship and I have zero judgement on others.  In fact I am friends with a lot of people who live very different lifestyles.   I really don’t care.   But for me personally ?  I am not interested in drama, lies or an untrusting man.

Eight years ago, when I first separated,  I started dating a man who was ten years older than me.    8 months in to the relationship, he cheated on me.   I had never had that happen to me before.  I was always so trusting and I guess a little naive as I had never really dated before.  Here I was 42, single for the first time in many many years.   I will never forget all the lessons I learned from that relationship.   I have no anger towards him.  That was his journey.

Never give the power to anyone to alter your happiness.

I also had a gentleman friend whom I have known for 25 years, contact me when he went through his divorce.    We got together for dinner and I thought,”OK, as much as I like him, I need to go slow”.   So when he asked me to stay over I declined.   I decided to hold back as I was leaving in a few days for holidays with my daughter and your daughter Karen (this was when I took the girls for two weeks to Maui)   I asked him to take some time, maybe when I got back we could go hiking or biking (my younger friends said that I “friend zoned him and to NEVER do that with a man….”  lol friend zoned…what ??? I told him he should maybe date some other woman (I did not want to be that rebound girl)  Well when I went to Maui he went on Plenty of Fish and within those two weeks I was away he met someone on line.       Dammit !!! I should learn to keep my mouth shut 🙂 hahahaha all good meant to be.

Then there was my ten year younger latin lover I had for a year.  He would meet me at my hotel in Vancouver when I would go there for business.    That was fun 🙂  I would love saying to my colleagues, “Sorry I can’t join you for dinner tonight.  My lover is coming over.” 🙂

Years ago I was introduced via a friend to a man who just retired from the military.   We were instantly attracted, had a fling and since then I spent some holiday time with him.   He is now travelling the world indefinitely.    We are both living two very different lives, different priorities.    I saw him on his last couple of visits to Vancouver Island.    We challenge and learn a lot from each other.   He makes me laugh.       He is actually the one who taught me the importance of not rushing into something.  “Everyone skips the getting to know each other stage”.  I  understand this now.

So yes, I have and will continue to be open, when it comes to meeting men.   I am enjoying all my interactions and experiences.  I welcome them everyday.

“Life experiences teach, not words.”  So I thank each one of them for giving me these experiences to learn and grow from them.

This is one of my favourite quotes….

“I fall a little in love a little bit with anyone who shows me their soul.  This world is so guarded and fearful.  I appreciate rawness so much.”  I love this quote.  I love people whom are open and allow themselves to be vulnerable.

Karen, it has been awhile since we chatted about men.  I know this is your favourite topic.  Geeeeeze growing up you were always more boy crazy than me.    When I would return to Ottawa in the summer,  one of my favorite things to do with you, was go watch our brother play baseball.  As you know, he is still playing with the many of the same group of guys for the last 25 years or so ?  But it was always so fun….we never watched the game.  We went to watch the boys 🙂

I miss talking to you Karen.  But most of all I miss laughing with you.   We laughed so much together.

You supported me through so much.    You took the role of mom for me at a very young age.  I never wanted to disappoint you.

Anyhow sis, I want to get this out to you tonight.   I am going to spend some time this weekend at a resort in Parksville with a girlfriend.  She has invited myself, Jenna and a friend.  It  will be a weekend of R&R that I am looking forward to as the next 6 weeks are exceptionally busy with a trip to Whistler and Vancouver for meetings, conferences, food shows ect.

I will call you Sunday.

I love you sis,

Kathy xo

ps.   I decided to keep Jenna this weekend (Kelly was supposed to have her) as I need to be free for next weekend as I am off to the mainland.   Initially, I was planning a trip to Squamish.  A friend of mine (whom I work with) is the lead singer in a band called The Hip Replacements (Tragically Hip cover band) They are performing tonight.   Anyhow, I texted him around 9ish tonight telling him I could not make it.     He sent an awesome pic of him in his outfit for the night – looking like Gordon Downie – and within minutes another buddy of mine texted me…and a couple of other friends.  I smiled, told them all to have a good night.

In the past, I would be so disappointed to not be there.  Missing the party.  I know it will be so much fun.

But instead I have Jenna sleeping next to me.  I can hear her deep breathing and the rain coming down outside.

I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  Not just tonight, but in life.

The men below, are only a few of my best guy friends….I have known them for almost for 30 years.  I love them xo


My brother xo
Father in law (ex) but still like a dad to me xo


Jenna’s last day of pre school – grade 7
First day of high school




4 thoughts on “Girl talk…and men :)

  1. Oh my friend I always love reading your letters to your sister that you share in this blog. You are an inspiration to me and I so adore you. I love our connection and my heart is filled with gratitude for our friendship.

    I was pleasantly surprised to see our picture as one of those at the bottom of your post.

    Looking forward to seeing you again soon. ❤️

    1. Thank you so much John. I too love our connection. It is very special.
      You are so very important to me.

      I will see you soon xo

    1. Thank you David 🙂
      So grateful to be back in touch.
      I hope you are well. Find you soon as I go to Victoria often.

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