I cried in the shower….

I cried in the shower….

Dear sis,

A few days ago, I cried in the shower.   As I cried, I felt joy.

COVID-19 will change us all.  But I believe for the better.

Karen, the tears came moments after I tried calling you.    The phone simply rang and rang.   No machine “picked up” for you to hear my voice.    So I pictured you just lying there and listening to the phone ring over and over again.

I worry about you everyday.   To be living in St. Vincents hospital, on the complex care floor, makes you so vulnerable.   And now, you have no visitors.  I respect they are doing everything now, to protect themselves and the patients.  But it is so inhumane to think of you just lying there 🙁

I cried because I thought of all the people whom are not allowed to see their parents, family members, friends.  How very difficult this is for so many.

But I also felt so much love because they do have someone to love.   They do have someone to care for.  And they are loved.    This is something to be so grateful for.

I cried because on my “last” visit to Costco,  as I was walking out, I saw an elderly gentleman moving his way in.    He was hunched over, hanging on to his cart and moving slowly.  The gentleman at the front door said very politely, “I am so sorry sir, you just need to go to the far end and work your way back up again.”  As the elderly gentleman slowly turned his cart around, I could see how something so small for us, was so challenging for him.

But I also had a ton of smiles when I thought about my friend Cindy and the favour I asked her to do.    As you know, Auntie Joyce is now 88 (born in 1931) and is still living on her own.    She has done so much for me and my daughter.    I wanted to do was something nice for her.   Unfortunately, I am on the Island and she is on the mainland.  When I asked Cindy if she could bring her a few bags of groceries, her reaction brought me so much jOY.    She too was so excited that she could help someone.  Isn’t this what this is all about ?  Kindness.

I cried because I thought about all the people who have surgeries scheduled for their well being, that got cancelled.  I cried for the children at Make A Wish whose wishes all got postponed.  I cried because when I called to cancel Jenna’s non urgent doctor appointment, the lady said, “Bless you for giving up your spot.  We are in such need now.”

The medical workers, grocery workers, delivery workers, first responders ect ect whom are so very much appreciated.

What I am strongly feeling right now is unity.   A togetherness.   The world needs to make a change.  I believe in the power of the Universe.  We can all say, “Let’s be kind.”  But I ask you all, to dig deep.   Don’t just say it, feel it.  Feel kindness.

Jean left me a message the other day how she can no longer visit you.    She is a lady, 92 year years of age, who gives herself so selflessly to others.  She has been a volunteer at the St. Vincent’s hospital and a friend to you Karen, for almost 9 years.

Yesterday morning I returned her call.   Not only did we talk about you, I took the time to ask her questions about her.

I learned how she worked in the services and lived in Egypt during the war.  She was also living in Sheffield at the time of the bombings.  She told me how she did general duties.  She laughed telling me the story about how they wanted her to do some work on the plane but she couldn’t because she didn’t own a pair of pants – only skirts – she said, “They were worried I was going to excite all them men.”

She talked about how she remembers watching the POW walk down the street, all going to Church and looking so sad at the children.

This lady is resilient.  She holds no judgement towards anyone.  She has seen and been through much more than any of us ever will go through.

Karen, how wonderful the care that she has provided to you over the years.   Jean is still with you in spirit.  She even told me she was going to hand write a letter to you that afternoon and drop it off at the reception desk.  She will ask for one of the nurses read it to you.

Now this is kindness.  Taking care of each other.

In a world full of uncertainty and the unknown, may you all find your inner peace.   Call a friend.  Check in with someone.

I will personally continue this journey with my daughter Jenna, my friends and family and of course my part time furry baby Lola.

I will spend my days trying to assist as many customers as possible and I will spend my evenings and weekends in nature.

I did manage to get a yoga class in, on the beach, however for now I will continue my live yoga class via ZOOM – yes a class in the comforts of my own home – and maybe the odd “social distancing” glass of wine with friends as long as we follow the rules.   DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING, ENTER VIA THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE, BRING YOUR OWN DRINK, I WILL SANITIZE YOUR CHAIR, WIPES WILL BE AVAILABLE AND YOU CANNOT USE THE BATHROOM lol love it.  We can all adjust 🙂

If there is one thing I know for sure, is that I am going to enjoy every moment I have.  In solitude, through connecting with people electronically or simply by just being in nature.

This I absolutely love…..

Wishing everyone so much love.   Continue to stay connected but most importantly continue to take care of you.

We will get through this together.

I love you sis,

Kathy xo


O.M.G  – I just had the most emotional “visit” with you sis – I loved it !!!!   When I called St.Vincent’s hospital, I asked for the nursing station near your room.   I explained to the nurse how I have no contact with you.   She offered to go into the room, answer the phone and place it near your ear.      I never thought of this.  This will be our new way of communicating.    Karen, as I talked and talked, I absolutely LOVED when I asked,”Can you hear me ?”  And all I heard was this big beautiful “gasp” from you.  Yay you are with me xo

Thank you to nurse Karleen, for not only picking up the phone but for saying to me, “You sister looks so happy right now.”  You just enhanced my day xo




2 thoughts on “I cried in the shower….

  1. Kathy
    You are such a beautiful beautiful person inside and out. You are a true inspiration and the kindest person I have ever met.
    Thank you for being in my life and thank you for bearing your true soul, your thoughts and emotions at such a scary uncertain time. Keep being you my friend, love to sis Karen and huge love to you and Jenna❤️❤️❤️

    1. Thank you Judith for such kind comments. I am truly grateful for your friendship. YOU, my friend, inspire me in so many ways so I thank you for that xoxoxo

Comments are closed.

Comments are closed.